Saviour
by everyoneisking
Summary: David Karofsky has been saved. Now it's his turn. Can he save Finn Hudson?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is my first Fave Hudofsky fic, and while the boys weren't quite as in character as I would like them to be, I hope you enjoy it. Maybe you could leave a review or some constructive criticism if you feel so inclined? **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Glee, Finn would be the awesome character he deserves to be every episode.**

No matter what people might tell you, there is a certain special something about jocks. Of course, the adults, the all-knowing, equality-spouting teachers will try to convince you otherwise, to try and assuage your concern about not fitting in, about the jocks not liking you, telling you one day, you'll all be the same, but you know they're all full of shit. Everyone had always wanted to either be a jock or do a jock, one time or another. It's common knowledge.

Finn Hudson was a jock, and he knew it. He ruled McKinley High, and he was damn proud. Since freshman year, he'd always been drawn to sports, to the team mentality. He liked to know that while he was doing something he loved, and quite frankly, was pretty good at, he was also part of a family, and he was helping them with every step he took and every ball he caught. For a while, life was pretty sweet. He wasn't the greatest academic, but that had never mattered much before, and it didn't start to matter until senior year. He had a hot girlfriend, who he genuinely loved, a great best friend, and a team he loved.

For a while, Finn thought life was this good for everyone, but then he remembered hearing his mother's soft weeping at night through the thin walls and the looks of terror on the face of nerds when he and his team walked past. He'd thought nothing of these things when he had first noticed them, but over the years, high school started to become serious, and they slowly grew to a mounting pressure.

His teachers began to preach at them about college, about the benefits of higher education. Finn had never thought about college before, though he knew some of his friends had mentioned it. It had never been an option before for Finn, not just because he knew his mother working two jobs barely managed to pull together the rent every month, but also because he had no idea what he wanted to do with his life, and the conviction that even if he knew, he didn't have the means to achieve it.

This was why sports had always been so important to him. The adrenaline, the chase, the feel of the ball in his hand, _this_ was something he could do. Football was always his favourite; but he'd tried his hand at baseball, basketball (at the insistence of Puck; he was sure his freakish height would help him out. It didn't), and even hockey. He wasn't much good at that last one; something about the ice put him off. Quite a few people had told him he looked rather like baby Bambi trying to walk.

Pretty soon, sports became the only thing that Finn could take solace in. He'd lost his girlfriend, "his" daughter, and his cool factor. He was no longer revered as he walked through the walls; he was even getting used to the cold sting of a Slushee in the face. He'd had his chance with Rachel, and completely blown it. Sure, he'd thought he loved her, but there was something wrong. Something in the back of his mind niggled at him every time he was with her. Plus, it probably wasn't a good omen that with every word she uttered he became more and more irritated, until it got to the point that he could barely be in the same room with her, let alone a relationship.

He'd broken her heart, of course. Somehow, Glee Club, who had at first hated Rachel, took her side. It was only because Mr. Schue had begged him not to leave, and that he genuinely loved the singing, that he did not quit. Glee and football were the only things keeping him going. And to be honest, he wasn't sure he could go on much longer.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

David Karofsky secretly thought he and Finn Hudson weren't that different. Sure, they had a famous rivalry going. Hudson VS Karofsky; they were McKinley's newest and favourite nemeses. It hadn't always been that way. Dave remembered when they had been the best of friends. Two freakishly big boys; in rather different ways, Dave had always been chubby; especially in elementary school. Finn was already ridiculously tall for his age. They had banded together against the cruelty of the other kids; it helped that they both loved sports. Dave never knew for sure, but he suspected sport was the same outlet for Finn as it was for him; a safe refuge from everything else in his life.

But then they got to high school. They naturally started to drift; Dave fell in with the hockey crowd, Finn with football. They could have remained friends, but Dave was going through some … changes. Locker rooms became rather dangerous. He didn't understand it; or, actually, he did, and he was ashamed. He knew exactly why he got hard just looking at the other boys, and not just other boys. Finn. His parents blamed his sudden anger with everything on teenage hormones, and he'd never let them know that it was all down to Finn's ass and Dave's goddamn disobedient dick.

For a while, Dave thought he could keep it under wraps and still be Finn's friend (because being friends presents more opportunities to see each other naked), but then, freshman year, Finn made that goddamn crack in the locker room about Dave's pubes, and that was the end of that. Dave was so hurt that he retreated into his anger and shame and hockey. They didn't speak again, except for a few snide remarks thrown (not to mention Slushees). Not until senior year, when _everything_ had changed.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"Hudson?" Dave asked incredulously, after walking into the library and finding a miserable looking Finn slumped on a table.

Finn looked up, surprised. His eyes were rather red, but Dave didn't mention it. He remembered the fear of being found with red-rimmed eyes, and figured Finn would be pretty embarrassed.

"What do you want, Karofsky?" he asked, but to Dave's surprise he didn't sound angry or malicious, just tired. Dave sat down next to him, and got out his books, in an effort to look somewhat more normal than he was feeling. His feelings for Finn had never completely gone away, and he still got a little jittery around him. It was kind of like what he had felt for Kurt, but of course, that had subsided in time. This thing with Finn never had.

"Where are all your little friends?" Dave asked, and kicked himself internally for how nasty that had come out. He'd been working on it, with Kurt's help, but sometimes he still sounded like the old angry Karofsky. Now was, regrettably, one of those times. Finn sighed, but sat up straighter in his seat.

"Didn't you hear? I'm a total loser, no one wants to be my friend anymore," Finn replied dejectedly. Dave observed Finn's lifeless looking eyes, his still slumping posture, and the tone in his voice, and while the words were a little melodramatic, as Finn was prone to be, Dave recognised something in it. It was what he used to see when he looked in the mirror.

"Well, I wouldn't say everyone," he said quietly, not looking up, which was just as well, because Finn's eyes had widened so considerably that Dave surely would have laughed had he seen it.

"Are you kidding, dude? You hate me," Finn said disbelievingly. Dave scoffed, and had to remember that not everyone knew about his change. He'd only just come back to McKinley to try and graduate after his suicide attempt (he could say the words easily now; for the first few weeks he couldn't stomach the clinical description. He'd had to work up to it) and no one had really talked to him since. He figured they felt too awkward to the kid who tried to top himself, but then, he was grateful for the solitude.

"I used to. Not anymore," he said simply. He wasn't sure if Finn was willing to hear anymore, but then, he wasn't sure if he was willing to share anymore. Finn pondered this for a moment, and seemed to accept it at face value.

"Well, you're one of the only ones. I'm failing every class, except auto, everyone in Glee thinks I'm a total asshole and the team only put up with me because I can occasionally make them win," Finn said, and his eyes clouded over. Dave wasn't sure, but it could have been anger or just overwhelming sadness. If Finn was still the same as the boy he had known years ago, it was probably the latter. The Finn he knew had always been more prone to offence than anger.

"This all because you broke up with that Berry chick?" Dave asked, somewhat incredulous. He'd never known the whole Glee crowd that well, but they'd always seemed like a family, as cheesy as that sounded. He didn't think they'd all turn on Finn, but he guessed he really hadn't known them.

"Rachel," Finn corrected automatically. "Yeah. I, uh, broke her heart," he explained, the memory obviously still weighing heavily on him. Dave rolled his eyes, and resisted the urge to slap Finn out of it.

"Chicks, man. I swear, more trouble than they're worth. Why do you think I don't bother with them?" Dave teased, nudging Finn playfully, and took a sort of perverse pleasure in seeing Finn's amazement. He still hadn't gotten over the novelty of seeing someone figure out that he really had changed.

"Dude, did you just …?" Finn trailed off, amazed.

"Yeah, man. I'm not ashamed of being gay anymore. Your brother helped out with that one," Dave laughed, and obviously Finn had known about that one because his eyes didn't widen. Though Kurt had not brought Dave around to the house quite yet, he supposed he and Kurt had spent a lot of time together. To be honest, it was probably the thing that had saved him. At first, he'd thought he was completely in love with Kurt, but he soon came to realise it was more of a crush combined with hero worship.

When it became apparent that Finn wasn't going to say anything further, Dave decided he'd better keep the conversation going, or Finn was going to slide back into his little mopey thing he had going, and Dave could do without seeing that again.

"So, look, dude, I don't know what's going on with you and the rest of the frea-"Dave stopped himself. Something about talking to Finn was bringing out the jerk side of him again.

"Glee club," he corrected himself, but Finn didn't seem to have noticed.

"But, you ever need someone to talk to, well, I'm around," he finished, feeling a little awkward. This sounded more like something Finn would say, actually, but he had an inkling that not many people said this sort of thing to _him_ and maybe he needed it every once in a while. Finn looked up, presumably to see whether he was kidding or not, but seeing the serious, and slightly embarrassed look on his face, he nodded and smiled.

"Thanks, man," he said simply. Dave stood, feeling that this was all a little too much for him to handle, as the butterflies in his stomach were fluttering incessantly, a feeling he had once associated with shame and the need to shove someone into a locker, but now just made him nervous.

"See you around, man," he said, and left Finn to his thoughts.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

What the hell had Kurt done to Karofsky? Was this really the same Karofsky he knew and hated? Sure, he remembered playing with the kid when they were younger, but then he'd made a crack about pubes, and soon enough, they couldn't stand each other. Still, maybe he had changed. While it was a little hard for him to accept it so easily, he tried. It just wasn't in his nature to hold a grudge, even if the guy in question had made his brother's life such hell. Kurt seemed to have moved on, and so why shouldn't he?

And Finn had to admit, it was nice to have someone to talk to other than Kurt or his Mom and Burt. Anyone else would only throw him daggers or maybe a jeer about how he'd hurt Rachel so much. He couldn't understand why they all chose Rachel's side, or even why they couldn't see that he had never wanted to hurt her, but that he just didn't love her anymore.

He was still wondering exactly why Karofsky had chosen to talk to him the next day when he drove into school. Burt had taken pity on him riding the bus as a senior when every other kid had a car, so he'd given him an old junk-heap he didn't need in exchange for Finn's help around the shop. Finn was glad that Burt had enough sense to foresee that Finn wouldn't accept a gift straight out with no reimbursement. He believed in working for things, like his mom had for years.

Today was Glee, and while just a few weeks ago he would have looked forward to it the whole day, he was dreading it. Mr. Schue would give him another solo, which he always enjoyed, but felt it was a little unfair to the others, plus it would also be a solo across from Rachel. Mr. Schue didn't seem to have quite understood that songs just wouldn't help this particular problem.

He'd managed to make it through his classes with little to no interaction, but sixth period rolled around and he took his seat reluctantly in the choir room. No one sat near him, except Kurt, who was cuddling up with Blaine, so it didn't really count.

"OK, guys, I've noticed you're all a little down lately. I know there's a little animosity between, well, you don't need me to say it. So this week I want you all to sing songs about how you're feeling and how you'd like to resolve this problem we all seem to be having," Mr. Schue told the class, glancing at Finn as he spoke. Rachel sulked in her chair across the room, even though Finn could see her formulating exactly which song she'd choose.

Not for the first time in Glee, Finn resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Sure, he enjoyed the cheesiness of Glee sometimes, and sometimes he genuinely did like to sing about his feelings, but really? Could Mr. Schue not come up with a better theme? It was like he got this stuff out of a "How to Connect to Your Kids Through Song: The Power of Musical Journey" handbook or something.

The rest of the period passed by in a happy chatter, deciding which songs everyone would sing, and there was the general buzz of excitement in the air that usually manifested before a performance. Rachel stopped glaring at him long enough to brag about how she had the perfect song, which would once have made the rest of the club roll their eyes, but which now endeared them to her. He'd asked Kurt why this was, but he didn't have much of answer.

"I think they see her as a poor little victim, and they have to be extra nice and delicate around her or something," Kurt had replied, sounding a little disgusted, but Finn still didn't quite understand why Rachel was the victim here. He didn't bring it up, though, because Kurt, though on Finn's side, got a little annoyed when Finn second-guessed him or insulted Rachel. They were still friends, after all.

"What song do you think you'll do, Finn?" asked Blaine kindly, obviously noticing Finn's discomfort and exclusion. Finn wasn't exactly sure when Blaine had warmed to him, since Finn himself had spent a fair bit of time being a real jerk to him, but he was grateful for it.

"Uh, I don't really… know," Finn mumbled, trailing off. Everyone thought he was a bit schmaltzy and just loved sharing his _feelings_, but he wasn't great with words, and he was often confused. It seemed to be a perpetual state for him, actually; confusion. His classes confused him, Rachel had confused him constantly, the future confused him, his "friends" confused him, and well, Karofsky did too, recently.

"Well, what are you feeling?" Kurt asked, trying to coax a real response out of him. Finn tried to think, but all he could think of was ... escape. He couldn't breathe with them both looking expectantly like that, just like teachers always did when they wanted an answer about his future, just like Rachel always had when she asked about, usually, a song of hers or something. It was too much pressure, too much expectation, and with that one loaded question, he snapped.

"I'm sorry, I've gotta get outta here," he said quickly and rushed out of the choir room urgently, leaving a very confused and annoyed Glee Club. He could almost hear the snide remarks from Rachel and her new best friends, and the questions from Mr. Schue (obvious, really, why should he even have to ask?). Maybe Blaine and Kurt would be confused, even a little hurt. That was too much to take; they were only trying to help and his own selfish fucked up self had hurt them.

He raced down the empty hallways out to the car park, only to realise that he'd left his keys in his locker, and could not face going back into the school where he might encounter someone. He settled for slumping against his car in the cold, the icy wind snapping around his face. He could feel tears welling in his eyes, but he absolutely refused to let them fall. This was ridiculous; it was a simple question, and he'd turned into a pathetic wreck.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been just standing there, wondering numbly how things had turned to such shit, but soon enough someone found him, which he'd been expecting. Who it was, however, he had _not_ been expecting.

"Jeez, Hudson, we gotta stop meeting like this," Karofsky said, leaning against a massive truck next to Finn's own small junk-heap. Finn stared at him in surprise, and felt a swell of anger rise up within him, bolstered by embarrassment.

"What are you, following me, Karofsky? Mind your own goddamn business," Finn spat, wondering even as the words left his mouth why exactly he was being such a dick. Karofsky, no matter how much of a jerk he'd been in the past, didn't deserve it at this moment. To his credit, Karofsky only looked like he was going to fight back for a moment, and Finn could see the restraint on his face, before he said

"Lost your keys, bro?" There was no anger in the voice, or teasing. It was something Finn couldn't pinpoint. He flushed, and rather than explaining the whole stupid affair, he just nodded. Karofsky laughed, and gestured to the truck behind him, which could, at this point, only have been his.

"Get in. I'll drop you off," he said, and opened the door, hopping in. It wasn't the end of school yet, but at that moment, Finn couldn't care less. He hesitated for a moment, wondering wildly whether this was an attempt to get Finn alone so he could beat the shit out of him or something, but he pushed the thought aside. That was unfair, and unlikely. Karofsky could probably have done it on school property and no one would have complained.

He climbed into the passenger seat; a ridiculous height, but one that seemed to suit him, as he was just about level with Karofsky for once. He didn't like towering over everyone as much as he thought he would when he was young and scrawny. Karofsky started the engine, and the noise prompted Finn's brain into motion. Did he really want to go home? Carol would be home, wondering why he was home so early, Burt would expect his help in the shop, and an explanation, and soon enough Kurt would be home to grill him. No, home was _not_ somewhere he wanted to be right now. Still, where else could he ask Karofsky to take him?

"Look, I, uh, I can't really… go…" Finn trailed off, a little embarrassed. Luckily, Karofsky seemed to get it.

"I got a pigskin in the back. You wanna just… chuck it around?" he said uncertainly, like Finn would laugh in his face or something. Finn imagined just running and running, the feel of the ball in his hands, and decided that's exactly what he needed.

"Yeah," he answered, his voice hoarse for some reason. They drove in silence to one of the nicer parts of town, where Karofsky must have lived. Finn didn't remember the large, beautiful home they stopped in front of as Karofsky's house, so they must have moved. Finn had always wanted to live in this part of town, but he understood his mom's money situation.

Karofsky looked at Finn again tentatively, as if the sight of the house would set him off or something. It was strange, having the boy who he used to hate so vehemently, the tough jock who used to throw Slushees in his face taking such careful, cautious glances at him. It was so disorienting it added to the general numbness he was feeling.

They walked into the house, Karofsky casually, Finn nervously. Mrs. Karofsky met them in the hall, looking the perfect picture of mother and housewife. He remembered her a little from when they used to have "play-dates" when they were younger, and she hadn't changed much. Finn was ashamed to think about those times when he was younger and he used to wish that his mom was more like Mrs. Karofsky. He later realised that she wasn't because she worked to keep them fed, while Mrs. Karofsky didn't have to worry about it.

"David, what are you doing home so early? Oh, hello, Finn! My goodness, I haven't seen you in years! Look you how grown-up you are!" she cried, hugging him around the middle; she only came up to his chest. Finn was a little embarrassed, but looking over, he saw it was nothing compared to Karofsky's red face.

"Jeez, mom, school let out early. Can you stop hugging my friends and let us through?" he asked, and Finn was a little shocked at the way he spoke, but Mrs. Karofsky apparently knew he wasn't completely serious, and so let it slide.

"Oh, alright, then. Did you boys want anything to eat, or drink? I can fix you something," she offered, letting go of Finn.

"Oh, no thank you, Mrs Karofsky, I'm fine," Finn replied politely, his manners kicking in automatically, something his mother had drummed into him. Mrs. Karofsky practically melted, and Karofsky shook his head and led them through the house out to the yard. It was bigger than any yard Finn had ever seen, and immaculately kept. Karofsky pulled out the football and tossed it in the air, catching it deftly and running his fingers over the rough surface and savouring the feeling. Finn noticed because it was the same thing he usually did.

"You keep up your field skills, after all these years of hockey?" called Finn, relaxing slightly. There was something about the sight of a ball, the feel of the grass beneath you, the anticipation of the throw.

"You kidding me, Hudson? I could kick your ass any day," Karofsky answered, smiling. It was a strange sort of thing to see. Finn didn't actually remember the last time he had seen Karofsky genuinely smile; probably way before high school even started. His stomach sort of flipped, and before he could wonder just why that was, Karofsky had thrown the ball. His instincts kicked in, and he caught it easily, thankfully. They threw it back and forth a few times, trying to outdo each other and make the other run further with each throw.

Before long, the sun started to fade in the sky, and both Karofsky and Finn were out of breath, but intensely satisfied.

"Come on, Hudson, we need food," Karofsky said easily, loping toward the house. Finn followed, marvelling at how easily he had fallen back into this routine with Karofsky. They had used to do this a lot when they were younger. He wasn't sure he'd ever do it again. He found himself very glad that he had.

He sat at the pristine bench in the kitchen and watched Karofsky pull ingredients out of the cupboards.

"I didn't know you could cook," he commented absently. Karofsky laughed, and pulled out a large bowl.

"Hudson, there's a lot you don't know about me," he replied, casting a look over in Finn's direction. Finn laughed too, and they sat in comfortable silence for a moment.

"So … Kurt's really helping you then?" Finn asked tentatively, trying not to undo all the progress they seemed to have made through the miracle of sports, but still genuinely curious. Karofsky paused for a moment, and Finn thought he'd blown it, but then he replied.

"Yeah, a lot. Your brother's a good guy, you know."

"Believe me, I know. Sometimes I can't believe we're still on good terms, after all the shit I do," Finn said, the misery creeping back into his voice. The football had taken his mind off everything for a while, but it was creeping back.

"Oh, please, Hudson. You haven't done _half_ the shit to your brother I have. You are choosing the wrong guy to cry to. You've got no idea how to be a bad person. You couldn't do it if you tried," scoffed Karofsky, shooting Fin a derisive look. His voice was hard and incredulous, which ordinarily would have made Finn angry, but somehow, it made him feel a bit better.

"Look, Karofsky, I know you did a lot of shit. I still haven't completely forgiven you, you know. But … you aren't a bad guy," Finn said quietly. Karofsky seemed to ponder that for a moment, and smiled to himself.

"Thanks, Hudson," he said, just as quietly. They let the moment pass without turning it into something cheesy and embarrassing, and eventually fell into a steady rhythm of talk about school, about sport, Karofsky's hockey, Finn's football. They were all neutral sort of subjects, which suited them both fine. Mrs. Karofsky dropped in occasionally, insisting that she should be cooking, but Karofsky shooed her away.

"Sorry about that, man. She gets a little overexcited about everything now. You're the first guy I've brought around since … you know," he explained, and watched Finn's eyes widen marginally.

"Oh, no, dude, not, like that, you know. Just … I mean …." He stuttered, suddenly mortified. Finn didn't screw his face up in disgust or anything, though, as he had feared. He laughed, and said

"It's cool, bro. I get it. She must be pretty cool about … everything." He lingered on the last word, leaving Karofsky to figure out the connotation.

"Um, yeah, she's been pretty great. Dad too. I never thought they'd be so …supportive. Actually, Dad told me he probably would have had a harder time if he hadn't been the one to, uh, find me. He said it shocked him out of anything else but saving me," Karofsky explained, sounding embarrassed, and a little proud. He must have been too embarrassed to say anything further though, because he changed the topic pretty quickly.

"So, Hudson, you going to college?" he asked, obviously feeling uncomfortable. Finn suddenly felt irrationally angry, and the words came out before he could stop them.

"Jesus, I don't _know!_ Why does everyone just expect me to know what the fuck I want?" he exclaimed angrily, and he must have been louder and angrier than he intended to be because Karofsky started and rounded on him.

"Calm the fuck down, Hudson. I don't care whether you know or not. You can be as lost as you bloody hell want, for all I care," he replied heatedly, and Finn's anger spiralled down the drain and was replaced with shame. Karofsky may have been a jerk in the past, but he didn't deserve Finn being such a dick right now. Karofsky seemed to see it on Finn's face, however, because as he dished the steaming pasta into two bowls, he softened his voice and said

"Look, Finn, I'm not everyone else. You don't know what you want, that's cool. To be honest, neither do I really." Finn was a little surprised at the use of his first name; it was probably the first time Karofsky had said it in about five or six years, and for some reason, his stomach flipped again, not uncomfortably. Before he had time to analyse just why that was, he registered what else Karofsky had said.

No one had ever told him before that it was _OK_ for him to have no idea what he wanted. It had always been "Buck up, Finn, you can't be a kid forever."

"You don't?" he asked, unsure of what else to say at the moment.

"Nah, man. I mean, I kinda wanna coach at McKinley, but other than that, I got nothing," Karofsky replied, sitting down opposite him to eat. Finn nearly choked on the pasta.

"You don't want to leave Lima?" he asked incredulously, and it must have come out nastier than expected, because Karofsky's face reddened and his eyes narrowed.

"Why, you gotta problem with that, Hudson?" he shot back, reverting back to surnames. Finn's stomach dropped, inexplicably. He tried desperately to rectify the situation, but the right words didn't come, as usual.

"No, look, I mean, I just, I don't know anyone who _wants_ to stay. Rachel and Kurt, and basically everyone else I know just want to get out. I didn't know anyone actually liked it here," he choked out, wondering whether it sounded as disjointed and rambled coming out of his mouth as it did in his head. Sometimes he wished he could have Kurt's ability to just talk and say the right thing all the time.

Karofsky seemed to have calmed down though, so maybe it wasn't that bad.

"Yeah, well, it's all well and good for all of them. They've got big dreams, they should follow them. Personally, all I want is a job working in sports, an apartment on the other side of town maybe, and a guy to share it with," he said, looking down into his bowl, and then looked up, panicked. It was alright for him to _think_ that, but did he really just say it to Hudson? Finn didn't seem to pick up on it, or if he did, he didn't say anything.

"That's, really cool, Karofsky," he said earnestly. Karofsky laughed and said

"Dude, you can call me Dave. Karofsky just sounds weird."

They steered the conversation back to more comfortable territory before either one of them fucked it up again, and when they'd finished eating and talking, Karofsky stood to place the bowls in the sink, and looked at the clock.

"Oh, shit, man, you'd better get home. They're probably all wondering where you are," he said, and Finn checked the clock too. He was shocked to find that it was eight in the evening. They'd been together for hours, and hadn't even realised it. Finn hurried out to Karof- Dave's truck, and they drove in comfortable silence. They reached the Hummel-Hudson house quickly (Dave seemed to know the way perfectly, with no directions needed. Finn didn't think anything of it then, but made a mental note of it). Finn sat somewhat awkwardly in the passenger seat.

"Uh, thanks, Dave. You know, for talking to me and, and yeah …" Finn said awkwardly, and felt himself flush a little. Dave laughed, and Finn's stomach goddamn flipped again. He made a mental note to kick its ass later.

"Yeah, yeah, get out, Hudson, before you start crying, you pussy," he teased, shoving Finn gently. Finn stepped out of the car and walked towards the house, but was hit with an urge to turn back. He turned to see Dave still sitting in his truck looking back at him. The moment caught them both by surprise, and Dave drove off quickly without a second look back, and Finn hurried into the house.

"Finn! Where have you _been_? I've been calling and calling!" came a shrill, worried voice, and Finn was confronted with Kurt's angry, worried face, as well as Burt and Carol's.

"Yeah, sorry, I left my phone in my locker. I was-" Finn had been ready to say hanging out at Dave's; the words were on the tip of his tongue, but for some reason, he couldn't say them. It wasn't like he knew Kurt would be upset or anything; he'd probably done the same thing (and didn't that just make him a little bit jealous), but he couldn't bring himself to share it with them.

"Uh, out walking. I needed to clear my head," he lied, hoping they'd buy it. Burt and Carol seemed to, the worry leaving their faces, but Kurt looked at him shrewdly.

"Why didn't you take your car home?" he asked, looking at Finn as though he was hiding something, which he very well was.

"I just, uh, had to get out. I didn't feel like driving," he said, hoping he didn't look as shifty as he felt. He was never a very good liar. Kurt paused for a moment, but dropped it. Finn had a feeling he didn't completely buy it.

"Uh, I'm kinda beat, so I'm just gonna head to bed," he said, and headed down the stairs to their basement, not feeling like facing any more questions. He hoped Kurt wouldn't come and badger him like he did most nights.

As he lay in bed, completely unable to sleep, he found himself thinking about Dave. It was strange thinking of him as anything but Karofsky in his mind; it had been like that for so long. Not that Finn was complaining, but why had he chosen to approach Finn? He knew he tried to kill himself - everyone knew that, but maybe he really had changed for the better. Eventually, his mind tired, and he felt himself falling asleep, but just before he slipped into unconsciousness, he remembered the strange way his stomach flipped when he'd been with Dave. It was … surprisingly familiar, but he couldn't place it. He'd almost forgotten it by the time he really did fall asleep.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"It was so nice seeing Finn again today, sweetheart. I thought you two didn't get along anymore," Dave's mom said, as they sat together on the couch. Dave never used to watch TV with his parents; he barely left his room, actually, but they had insisted they spent time together lately. Dave supposed he couldn't blame them, and to be honest, it was kind of nice anyway.

"We didn't talk for a while, but we are now," Dave answered, unwilling to share exactly how they'd come to talk again. He figured it would sound too girly if he told them Finn had looked so miserable he just had to try and pull him out of it. Not to mention that he had just a little bit of a crush on him, still lingering from when they were kids. He was learning to be OK with being gay, but he was _not_ going to discuss crushes with his parents. That's weird enough even for a straight kid.

"Oh, that's lovely, David," his mom said again. She looked over at his father and they exchanged a glance. Dave was pretty sure he knew what it meant, but he wasn't going to say anything. If they wanted to go ahead and believe and Finn were a thing, or soon to be, well, he supposed it wouldn't hurt. It wasn't like it would ever happen…

"His stepbrother is that lovely boy you sometimes bring over, isn't it? Kurt?" his mother prodded, and Dave was assured that at least she wasn't angling for him to hook up with Kurt anymore, as she had weeks ago. Admittedly, he had wanted to for a long time after Kurt came to visit him in the hospital, but Kurt was obviously happy with Blaine (who he had hated for a long time, but now tolerated) and so he had gradually gotten over it, and told his mother to as well.

"Yeah, they're pretty tight," Dave answered, not sure whether he really wanted to be discussing Finn with his parents. Fortunately, they got the message and dropped it, and he was given a respite, at least until they both went to bed and he was left to his own devices. His mind drifted to Finn. It wasn't the first time and it certainly wouldn't be the last, he was sure. He'd gotten used to having the crush in the back of his mind for years, and although it hadn't reared its head for a while, it was like seeing a familiar friend.

He wasn't sure why exactly he'd approached Finn in the car park. He'd looked so utterly shattered that it would have been cruel to just leave him there. Since he was just standing outside his car, Dave assumed he'd left his keys somewhere, and somehow his mind jumped immediately to giving him a ride. He was beyond surprised when Finn actually accepted, and just a little bit glad.

Looking back on the evening, however, Dave wasn't sure whether he'd done the right thing. Sure, he enjoyed it, and he'd forgotten just how into a ballgame Finn really got, which was a nice change from the hockey, but had he freaked him out? There'd been a few heated moments between them, and Dave was surprised to see just how riled up Finn had gotten. He must have been under more pressure than he realised.

Dave knew the feeling well. While they were probably different pressures, he could remember being so stressed about things that he just exploded at the slightest mention of them. He guessed that maybe Finn had to reign his frustration in so much around everyone else he knew, because he'd _never_ heard anything about Finn snapping suddenly or being anything less than a really good-natured, if a little slow, kind of guy. It was kind of nice to know that he was a bit more like him than Dave had thought.

The next day, he pulled himself out of bed and got himself to school (all while still half asleep), still on a bit of a high from the evening before, and slogged through his classes. He didn't really see the point in taking AP Math and English, when all he wanted to do was hit a puck around or kick a ball and maybe teach some kids how to do it, but it made his parents happy, and it also took his mind off a lot of shit, so he didn't drop them. Plus, he knew he was still being monitored by the teachers after his … episode, so he thought he'd better stay on the straight and narrow and not raise any suspicions.

It had been hard coming back to McKinley, but he had been determined to do it. No one really talked to him much, which he didn't mind, but then there _were_ the people who talked to him, which he did mind. Not everyone was happy about him back; Azimio in particular. He had not taken Dave's coming out well, and it hurt like hell. He and a bunch of the football meatheads had come after him a fair bit, until Figgins put a stop to it, but they still strived to make his life hell.

"Hey, faggot," a voice called from behind him, and his stomach dropped. While he was sort of used to slurs thrown across the halls, he still dreaded it, and still hated it. It made him feel all the worse for what he had done to Kurt for so long, no matter how much Kurt tried to convince him that he was forgiven. He kept walking, determined to ignore it.

"Hey! I said, faggot, turn around and face me," came the voice again, angrier this time. People started to part in the halls, a sure sign that he was about to be attacked from behind. He spun around just in time to duck from a punch thrown from one of Azimio's lackeys. He didn't try and hit any of them, though his fists were itching to.

"What, are too much of a pussy to fight back?" jeered another. Red started to cloud his vision, and though he had been trying to control this, sometimes he couldn't. It was all he could do not to say something.

"We saw you with Hudson yesterday, fag. What did you do, take him home so he could fuck you? Did you like it? Did he blow you, fag?" Azimio emerged from the group of harassers, his eyes hard, and his voice loud. Everyone standing nearby could hear, and were either sniggering to themselves, or watching with wide eyes. Dave was shaking now. He'd heard every insult under the sun by now, but this was something new. Azimio seemed to be taking pleasure in every word, watching Dave get angrier and angrier. He was about to completely lose control and tackle the bastard to the ground, when a voice came from behind him.

"Fuck off, Azimio. It's none of your goddamn business," it said, and Dave was shocked to see Finn standing beside him, his fists clenched as well, staring down the ten or twelve guys all ready to pummel him.

"Aw, look, fag, your little boyfriend's defending cos you too much of a pussy to do it yourself," Azimio mocked, unthreatened by the appearance of Finn. His friends laughed.

"Back off, Az," Dave said quietly, seeing Finn's face redden in anger. Pretty soon one of them was going to blow up and then they'd both be sorry.

"Don't you ever fucking call me that again, you hear me, you little queer?" Azimio shot back, suddenly deathly quiet. Dave saw Finn look over at him worriedly, like this would be the thing to break him, but instead, he smiled.

"Touch a nerve, did I, Az? Don't you remember all the good times we had though, _sweetheart_? You don't remember all those times we showered together after a game? You don't remember blowing me? I think you're just a little jealous, Az," he said, loud enough for possibly the entire school to hear. There were multiple gasps around them, a few giggles, and a few grunts of disgust from behind Azimio.

Azimio's face was murderous, and anyone with any sense would have run in the other direction.

"You fucking liar. Don't believe anything he says, guys, he's a fucking faggot liar," he told everyone around him, but the whispers were already starting to circulate, and the jocks who just a few seconds ago were laughing with him were edging away. Dave stepped closer, so that he was almost touching Azimio.

"Back off, Azimio, off of me _and _Hudson, or trust me, you'll be screaming louder than you did when I used to fuck you," he threatened, his voice soft now, but every syllable was heard in the now silent hall. Azimio had had enough, and shoving a nearby kid into a locker with enough force to probably break his spine, stormed out of the hallway. An awed hush filled the hall.

"Come on, show's over, people, move on," Dave called, and immediately a babble broke out as people rushed off to class.

"Dude! That was hilarious! Was that _true_?" Finn asked, as they both walked off together, well aware of the many eyes on them. Dave laughed, a sense of accomplishment and pride filling him as the terror drained away.

"As if, man, have you _met_ Az? Like I'd go there," he replied in an undertone, in case someone was still listening. Finn burst out laughing, Dave felt instantly happy. He'd beaten off Az and his backup, without losing control and beating the shit out of them, which he was well aware would land him expelled and back in therapy, and Finn had jumped in to defend him.

"Hey, thanks, man, for the back up there. I was pretty sure I was gonna attack one of them in a minute if you hadn't shown up and distracted me," Dave said, still embarrassed and uncomfortable with the thank-you thing. It wasn't his sort of thing to get all girly and feelings-y, even if he had changed. He was still him. Still, Finn's actions warranted something.

"No problem, man, I figured I owed you for saving my butt yesterday. I was this close to doing something really stupid," Finn replied, seeming to be at more ease sharing his feelings than Dave was, and then realised just what he'd said.

"Oh, dude, no, not like that. I didn't mean to be insensitive. I just... you know… Shit," he cut himself off and looked angry. Dave was used to people being all delicate around him, especially in the first few weeks after he'd done what he'd done. Finn was a little clumsier than most people, and probably not much better at tact than he himself was.

"Dude. Chill. It's OK. I'm not going to break down at the mere mention of it, OK?" Dave said firmly, a little sick of being treated so delicately, _still_, and he was determined that Finn was going to act normally around him. Finn nodded, and still looked a bit pissed with himself.

"So, I gotta go to class. See you around, I guess?" Dave said, as they had come to his classroom.

"Yeah, sure," Finn said, and with a smile, walked off. Dave took his seat in the class, and aware of the many eyes still watching him, slipped into the rhythm of the work. It wasn't hard, and he was finished before long. He had learnt in his first year of school that telling the teacher you were done only brought on more work, so he contented himself with doodling on the page, looking like he was still working.

Finn certainly seemed a bit happier than a few days ago. Dave was sure no one in Glee was talking to him yet, because he had seen Berry and her bunch of giggling girls glaring at him from across the cafeteria, but Finn didn't look quite as crushed as he had when Dave had first saw him in the library. It was a bit of a comfort knowing he'd cheered him up, even if only marginally.

"Hey. Karofsky?" hissed a girl from the row next to him. He turned to face her, not sure what to expect. He didn't know her, so the reaction was totally unpredictable.

"Are you and Finn Hudson really … fucking?" she whispered, looking incredibly curious. Dave rolled his eyes. Right, she was one of _those_ girls.

While Dave had gotten used to the likes of Az and his fellow homophobes, he'd also learnt about the existence of the fag hag; when Kurt had explained it, Dave instantly thought of Berry, but thought it best not to mention that to Kurt. He wasn't sure whether it was more annoying having names thrown at you or having girls come up and ask _extremely_ intimate details about his sex life. He supposed it was the flip of side of men getting hot over two girls; some girls, he'd discovered, were insanely hot for two guys.

"No offense, but it's none of your business," he answered as politely but firmly as he could. The girl looked disappointed, but determined not to give up.

"No, really, what's he like in bed? I heard from Santana Lopez that he's tiny, but that's probably just cos she's a girl, right, and he couldn't get it up?" she pressed, looking very excited about her theory. She continued to chatter in his ear, and he wondered just how she knew so much about gay sex and why she felt it necessary to share with him. Finally, the bell went, and he raced out of the room before she could say anything else.

Mercifully, no one else approached him for the rest of the day, though a few giggly freshman girls followed him around all day, not quite daring to talk to him. He was a little worried about how quickly the rumour had spread about him and Finn; he hadn't quite meant for that exact rumour to spread. Then again, Finn was the one to step in and help.

A buzz in his pocket interrupted his thoughts and the whispers that followed him as he walked out the school.

**So the school thinks we're a couple now.  
- F**

That could only be Finn. He was surprised; for one thing, Finn was _still_ talking to him? He assumed he'd come to his senses and give him the cold shoulder again. And secondly…

**How'd you get my number?  
- D**

Dave waited a moment, sitting in his truck in an odd sort of anticipation, staring at his phone.

**Kurt. Hope you don't mind.  
- F **

Of course he didn't mind. In fact, with every letter sent, his little crush was growing stronger and stronger. It probably wasn't wise, but there really wasn't anything he could do about it now.

**Why would I? Sorry about the rumour thing. Didn't mean it to go down like that.  
- D **

Dave was oddly nervous as he waited for Finn's reply. Damn, this shit was getting girly. He felt like Berry or something.

**It's cool. Not like its true. You any good at advice?  
- F**

Advice? That was a bit out of the blue.

**Not bad. Might make things worse… Why?  
- D **

The reply was almost instantaneous.

**You play Halo?  
- F **

Jeez, Finn really was all over the place. He got the drift, though.

**You even need to ask? I'm a dude. An awesome dude. You feel the need to kill something?  
- D**

What was he doing? He was shit at advice, and was he _really_ inviting Finn over again? His mother was going to be over the moon. Still, he couldn't seem to stop himself. Even with his crush in the background, it was nice just to have … a friend.

**Hell yeah. You mind?  
- F **

Dave laughed, and replied.

**See you in 10.  
- D **

Wondering just what Finn was going to ask him about, Dave drove home quickly, hoping to arrive before Finn. His truck must have been a ton better than the rather pathetic looking thing Finn was driving. Judging by the amount of time Dave was left waiting in his room, a _lot_ better. Finally, Dave heard the rattle of Finn's car pull up in front of the house, and he became strangely nervous again. It was beginning to become a regular thing.

He heard his mother open the door, practically squeal in happiness, and direct Finn up the stairs to Dave's room.

"Hey, man," Finn said somewhat sheepishly as he opened the door.

"Hey," Dave said simply, not used to having to know what to say to guys-you-used-to-hate-but-kind-of-want-to jump-and-now-you're-sort-of-friends-with. He'd already set up the game in anticipation, and at a loss for what to say, offered Finn a controller. Finn took it, sat down on the floor next to him, and he started the game. For a good solid hour they played, not talking, completely immersed in it. Dave was a bit of a champion, but Finn actually gave him a run for his money.

"Damn, Hudson, how'd you get so goddamn good?" he asked, a little breathless from the yelling at the screen and the rigorous swaying from one side to the other video games always elicited from him. Finn laughed, and replied, equally as breathless.

"It's just natural skill, bro. Well, that and thousands of hours wasted in freshman year with Puck." His face fell at the mention of Puckerman though, and Dave didn't have to guess why. Finn and Puckerman had been tight; best friends all through high school. You barely saw one without the other, but now he had sided with the Gleeks (Dave figured this was a nicer term for them, even if he wasn't too happy with them as of late). Finn was obviously taking it hard.

Dave didn't say anything else, and concentrated on kicking Finn's ass. It didn't pay off. Finn was ruthless. Every time he re-spawned, there was Finn again to cut him down.

"Dude! This is just cruel!" Dave exclaimed, throwing down the controller in disgust.

"What can I say, man? I'm just that good," Finn bragged, satisfied with himself. Dave switched the TV to some mindless trash that was on; it looked like a cheap rip off of WWE, and they sat for a moment watching.

"So the assignment in Glee is pretty hard this week," Finn said after a moment, and Dave was surprised by his bluntness. He was _more _surprised that Finn was choosing him to talk to about Glee of all things.

"Yeah?" he said, unsure of what else to say. He didn't know anything about singing or whatever else they did in Glee. He'd kind of enjoyed the zombie thing they did once, but he wasn't the type of guy to get up and sing his feelings out like he knew they did in Glee.

"Mr. Schue wants us to sing about we're feeling," Finn said, and Dave had to stop himself from laughing. Of course he did.

"He thinks it'll solve this thing between me and Rachel, and get the rest of the club to talk to me again," Finn continued. He sounded pretty miserable again.

"That sounds like bullshit to me, man. No offence. But if Berry hasn't got over you dumping her by now, no sing-a-long is gonna help," Dave said, scoffing at the ludicrousness of Mr. Schue. He'd known the guy was a bit of a tool, but he didn't think he was _stupid. _

"That's exactly what I thought! But, you know Glee. Or maybe you don't. But they all think singing cures everything. It hasn't fixed any of my problems for years. Singing isn't gonna help me decide what I want from my life, it isn't gonna get them all to hate me any less. It's not going to make me any less of a loser," he exclaimed, sounding like he'd been waiting forever to get that out. In fact, he looked a little surprised with himself. Surprised, but pleased.

Dave decided to ignore the loser comment and address the rest.

"You still like singing though, don't you?" he asked, deciding it was probably better to stay simpler than try and figure it all out at once. He didn't think he'd be able to, anyway. Finn's face lit up, and Dave was pretty sure he'd said the right thing.

"Yeah, of course, I love it. It's the only reason I stay in Glee, you know. I wouldn't get to sing anywhere else if I left," he answered.

"I've got _no_ idea what I'm going to sing, though," he continued, looking rather confused. It was a look Dave had seen on Finn's face before, but strangely, and a little worriedly, he found it rather endearing.

"Well, I guess you have to work out what you're feeling," he said, feeling a little uncomfortable. He still wasn't completely down with this feelings talk thing, but he figured it was the least he could do to help Finn out a bit, especially after his display of defence earlier.

"That's just it, though, I don't _know!" _Finn cried, getting upset. Dave felt bad for the guy; he remembered many times when he genuinely didn't know how he felt, and that feeling of not knowing was utterly hopeless.

"Well, you ask me, I think you should get over the Berry chick" he couldn't bring himself to call her Rachel  
"give up on those losers who dumped you, and actually focus on yourself for once. Figure out what you like, and what you want," he said bluntly, wondering exactly why it was taking Finn so long to work this out. It wasn't like it was a hard conclusion to come to.

Finn looked confused, again. Dave admitted he didn't know much about all this feelings stuff or how to give advice or any of that girly shit, but he thought that maybe if he could simplify some of the shit in Finn's life, get him to see what was damn obvious anyway, it might be an adequate replacement for the psychobabble crap he was sure Berry spouted to try and direct Finn.

"What … I want. Yeah. That makes sense," Finn said slowly, letting the information register in his mind. Dave could see the seeds planting there in his head, and he had to admit, it was nice being able to see exactly what someone was thinking or feeling right there on their face. Finn was kind of simple, but in a good way. It was a welcome change from not being able to figure out what the fuck was going on in people's crazy minds.

They sat together for a moment, under the pretence of watching the wrestling rip-off, but Dave could tell Finn was thinking. He could practically hear it.

"Listen, man, I think I'm gonna go. But, uh, thanks, you know," Finn said, standing. Dave stood too.

"No probs," Dave replied, still not used to how to deal with this friendship thing. He'd had friends before, sure, like Az for example, but they'd never been the sort of buddies that doled out advice and sat around talking about their feelings and shit.

"I totally kicked your ass, by the way," Finn called as he walked out the door and down the stairs.

"Yeah, you'll get it next time, Hudson!" Dave yelled back, and he heard Finn's laughter drift upstairs before he got in his shit heap car and rattled off.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"Kurt, what do I _like_ doing?" Finn asked as he sat in the basement bedroom he shared with his prissy stepbrother. Kurt looked up from his moisturising routine, something Finn was slowly getting used to seeing, to look at him, puzzled.

"Finn, why are you asking me what _you_ like to do? Surely you'd know better than me," Kurt answered, sounding a bit incredulous that Finn would ask such a stupid question. Finn fought back the urge to just shut up there and then before Kurt can make him feel any worse.

"But I don't, man. I thought maybe you'd have a bit of an insight since you, like, read people well, I guess," Finn pressed on, pretty sure that his flattery would make Kurt a little more willing to answer him properly. Flattery never went awry with Kurt. Sure enough, Kurt puffed himself up proudly, looking rather like a demented swan with his face all white and his chest puffed out.

"Well, I suppose you're right. Hmm, you like football, don't you?" Finn nodded.

"You like singing?" Another nod. At this, Kurt stopped and thought hard.

"To be honest, Finn, that's all I've got," he said, having the good grace to look at least a little ashamed. Kurt may be insensitive sometimes, but he usually knew when.

"Really?" Finn asked, disappointed. How was he supposed to figure out who he was and what sort of things Finn Hudson liked doing if his step brother couldn't tell him? Kurt apologised again, and Finn decided he was a lost cause.

He tried again the next morning.

"Mom. Do you know what my hobbies are?" he asked, leaning over the kitchen bench as she made pancakes. She looked at him with the same expression Kurt had the night before, which then morphed into one of understanding.

"Oh, sweetie, is this some sort of test, to see if I'm still paying attention to you, after I married Burt? It's OK, I've read about kids who do this," she said, and before he could correct her, she went on.

"Well, you're a jock. You love football, but you also love singing. I hear you in the shower every night," she teased, looking very pleased with herself. Really? She was done already?

"Anything … else?" Finn asked, feeling a bit mean as he watched her face drop.

"Oh, honey, have I missed something?" She looked devastated. He didn't feel like explaining what he really wanted, so he just shook his head to try and make her feel better. She smiled, and returned to the pancakes. Another lost cause. Was this really all there was to Finn Hudson?

Finn could think of only one other person willing to talk to him. He headed out to the garage, where he knew Burt would be tinkering with someone. He'd heard his Mom complaining about how often Burt retreated to the garage, even when he'd just come from one.

"Hey, Finn. Anything I can help you with?" Burt asked, when he saw Finn hovering in the doorway. Finn was about to explain, when Burt interrupted.

"Say, can you pass me that wrench there, buddy?" he asked, gesturing to a tool next to Finn. He was fiddling with an engine, or at least part of one. Finn handed the wrench to him and sat to watch what he was doing.

"Finn? You came in here for something?" Burt said, after Finn spaced for a moment, staring into the metal.

"Oh, yeah. Look, you're kind of the closest thing I have to a father, and I wanted to know if you knew what sort of things I like to do," Finn explained for what seemed like the hundredth time. Again, he received that same puzzled look, but this time Burt looked a little amused too.

"Oh, I know what this is about, kid. You're trying to figure out who you are and where you're going, am I right?" Burt said, a twinkle in his eye. Finn's mouth dropped, and before he could voice his amazement, Burt continued.

"Oh, kid, I have been _waiting_ for this talk. I mean, I used to think it would be Kurt I'd be giving it to, but then I saw how set he is on Broadway and everything, and I figured, well, he'll never need it," Burt explained, looking positively gleeful.

"So… what's your advice?" Finn asked eagerly, sure that Burt would have the answers he so desperately wanted.

"Well, first off, you gotta stop asking other people that question. Let me guess, no one's told you anything but singing and football?" Burt said, gesturing to another tool as he spoke. Finn handed it to him.

"Yeah," he replied dejectedly.

"Finn, there is more to you than other people see, and you're the only one who can show them that. I think the better question is, Finn, what makes you happy?" Burt asked, finishing the work on the engine and looking over at Finn expectantly.

Finn thought hard. It wasn't easy. Happy? That had … barely occurred to him. Which was a little startling. Burt could obviously see the blatant shock and bewilderment on his face, and took pity on the poor kid.

"Well, from what I can see, you always seem happy when you're working with me in the garage. And I know Rachel used to make you happy, but Kurt told me that ended a while ago. Maybe you need to find the right girl. Or guy," Burt added hastily, used to Kurt's admonishments. He knew when to tack that on at the end.

"No, it's girl. I thought Rachel was the one, but it just … didn't work out," Finn said, mostly to himself, and Burt waited. He might not be much good at advising Kurt, though he tried his best, but he knew when to stop and listen. Finn paused, taking in the other bit of advice Burt had given him, and smiled.

"Thanks, Burt," he said simply, and left. Burt smiled to himself as Finn left; that kid was clueless.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

It was a few weeks before Finn talked to Dave again. It wasn't like he was avoiding him; it was more that they didn't run into each other. Dave seemed to be some sort of genius and took all the AP classes, whereas Finn wasn't doing so well even in the easiest classes he was taking.

Still, no one talked to Finn. If there's one thing he could say about Rachel, she could hold a grudge. He was becoming surer with each day that he'd done the right thing in breaking up with her. Kurt, granted, had been trying to broker a peace pact between them, but he wasn't very successful. While Finn understood that she was angry, as well as all the others, he was kind of angry too, and he was just realising it.

He'd thought for a while that all the frustration he'd been feeling had just been because he was kind of a loser and because he felt guilty about devastating Rachel so much, but it had been months. The guilt was starting to bubble over and turn into real stomach churning anger, and he wasn't so sure that it was wrong.

He was focusing more in his classes, though it didn't seem to be helping much. He just wasn't cut out for English or History, but maybe he could do something about the rest.

"Dave. I need your help," Finn said, sitting down next to Dave in the library. Dave had barely noticed him walk up, and jumped a little at the sound of his voice. It was kind of weird to see him startled; usually the guy walked around the halls like nothing could shake him. Or maybe it just seemed that way since the rumour about him and Azimio had spread and developed like wildfire, and now everyone was either terrified or disgusted with him, and got out of his way as soon he came down the hall.

"What up, Hudson?" Dave replied.

"I'm failing Math. And I really can't be failing Math. I figured since you're, like, a genius with numbers or something, you could give me some help?" Finn asked, hoping the flattery thing would work on Dave like it did on Kurt. Maybe all gay guys were hard wired to respond to flattery. He sure hoped so. Though he had to admit; Dave was about the most opposite to Kurt you could ever get.

"Let me get this straight, Hudson. You want me to tutor you in Math?" Dave asked, somewhat incredulously, and Finn bristled.

"Yeah, I guess, when you put it like that. Look, bro, you got a problem with it, fine. I was just asking," Finn said, overreacting a little. He really couldn't stand being humiliated, and this look of amusement on Dave's face was like a kick to the gut.

"Chill, dude. God, you got an anger problem or something. Yeah, I guess I can tutor you. I could do with a little more cash," Dave said, grabbing Finn's arm as he went to storm out. Finn's stomach somersaulted, and Finn had almost forgotten it did that around Dave sometimes. It still felt familiar, and he still couldn't place it.

"Oh. Thanks, man. So, I guess, we could meet up tonight, if you're cool? I'd say come to my house, but Burt still isn't really all that cool with you, and … yeah," Finn trailed off awkwardly, like it was his fault Burt had a problem he couldn't get over.

"No problem," Dave said, but he looked a little put out. Finn guessed that he probably felt bad about Burt kind of hating him.

"You gotta come round after six though, otherwise my Mom will force feed you more food than any human stomach could ever hold," he added, smiling a little.

"I think you underestimate the power of a Hudson stomach, but sure. See you at 7?" Finn replied, standing. Dave nodded, but he had that look that told Finn he was mildly uncomfortable. The look he only got when other people were around. Finn turned around, and a group of freshman were standing close behind him. He sighed, and muttered bye to Dave as he pushed past the girls, who giggled madly, and left the library.

Finn wasn't sure if Dave was putting up with the same shit, but everyone (or at least every mental girl) in the school seemed to think he and Dave were dating, or at least fucking, and were not shy about asking about it. Kurt had yet to confront him about it, but Finn figured he was just biding his time.

7 rolled around quick enough, and Finn found himself sort of oddly excited. He couldn't quite explain it; he was going to _Dave's_ to learn _Math. _That was not something to be excited about, and yet he was.

Climbing the stairs to Dave's room, after being greeted enthusiastically by Mrs. Karofsky, who seemed to think Finn was some sort of golden child, he wondered vaguely exactly how Dave Karofsky had turned into the guy he went to for help, whether it be just school or actual serious life shit. It used to be Puck Finn confided in, but he had to admit; Dave did a better job of it. Puck was never serious, always making jokes and innuendos. Sure, Dave obviously felt uncomfortable, and OK, maybe he was kind of an ass about it, but what he'd said helped.

"Hey," Finn greeted him, dumping his bag on the floor and reaching in to grab the textbook. Dave nodded, and turned off the game he was playing. He had a sneaking suspicion it was Halo; Dave was probably trying to improve so he could kick Finn's ass next time. So not gonna happen. It then occurred to him that he'd planned for a next time with Dave in his head, and hadn't even blinked an eye. Odd.

"So, what's fucking you up, Hudson?" Dave said bluntly, and it took Finn a moment to realise he was talking about the Math.

"Oh. Yeah. Um… kind of … everything?" he said sheepishly, feeling a bit bad when Dave rolled his eyes.

"OK. What are you studying now?" he asked, flipping through Finn's book.

"Trig. Makes no fucking sense to me," Finn answered, happy to have one answer ready. Dave laughed.

"Hudson, Trig is the easiest shit in the world. You'll have it down by the time I'm done with you," he said, and proceeded to explain the function of the tangent and how to identify similar triangles, and he was actually pretty good at it. Better than his actual Math teacher. He didn't seem to mind that Finn didn't really know any of the terms, and he explained them all, albeit in a jackass kind of way.

"I never knew you were such an imbecile, Hudson," he laughed, and Finn shoved him, hard. Dave laughed harder.

"Dude! I bet you don't even know what imbecile _means!"_ Dave choked out through his laughter, and Finn flushed. He sort of knew. It was something insulting, of that he was sure.

"Shut up, man. It was actually working! I'm not _that _much of an idiot!" he said, watching Dave regain his breath.

"OK, OK, Hudson, you pussy. You're not that bad," he sighed, and slammed the book shut, looking like he was taking a particular pleasure in the violence.

"I can't look at any more numbers today or I swear, my head will explode," he added, indeed looking rather nauseated at the mere thought of more Math. Finn was fine with that; sure, he was supposed to be getting better at it, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

"Halo?" Dave asked, picking up the nearest controller.

"Hell yeah," Finn answered, and took it. He'd been right; Dave had been trying to improve. And improve he had, but he was still no match for the awesome that was Finn Hudson.

"Oh my god, what the hell is wrong with you?" Dave growled, as he once again respawned only to be attacked. Finn laughed, but it wasn't completely sincere. His stomach was doing something … strange. It wasn't flipping like it had been before, but it felt kind of similar … it felt like he was hungry, only not for food. And then he realised. Dave's growl had fucked him up so much he actually managed to let Dave's character kill him.

"Yes! Who's the master now?" Dave cried happily, and punched Finn in the shoulder playfully. Finn said nothing, and willed himself to brush the feeling aside. It wasn't unpleasant; just strange, and he wished he knew what it was all about. The only clue he had was that Dave had caused it, and that alone was fucked up enough for him to repress it and never think about it again. That was how men handled things and how he'd always handled things.

Dave must have noticed him looking a bit pale or something because he stopped gloating and went quietly back to the game. After a moment or so, Finn saw out of the corner of his eye Dave open his mouth like he was going to say something, and close it again quickly. He stayed silent for another few minutes, and Finn waited. He was sure Dave wanted to say something, and he was going to wait in silence until he did. It payed off.

"You end up picking a song for Glee club?" Dave asked, out of nowhere. Finn was a little startled that _that_ was what Dave had wanted to say, because Dave and Glee? So not compatible. He was a little confused for a moment, and then he remembered.

"Oh. For the feelings thing. Yeah. I did One Step Closer. It's, uh-"

"Linkin Park. Are you kidding me, dude?" Dave cut in, looking incredulous.

"No! What's wrong with that?" Finn replied hotly, a little embarrassed. He shouldn't have said anything.

"Nothing, man, I'm just surprised you knew it, that's all," Dave said, now looking at him with what looked like … awe. It was a little disconcerting, and OK, just a little nice.

"Oh. Well, yeah. Why're you so surprised? It's not like they're that indie or anything," Finn asked, himself a little surprised that Dave knew who he was talking about.

"I don't know, man, I guess I figured you for a Journey, show-tunes loving type. That's all you ever sing in that club anyway," Dave answered, rolling his eyes.

"I do not!" Finn cried. Dave stared at him.

"OK. So a lot of it is that. But how'd you know anyway?" he relented, under Dave's intense stare. Dave shrugged.

"Had to do my research if I was gonna pick on you. You can't just make any stupid crack without knowing what you're talking about," he replied, looking deadly serious. Finn laughed.

"Yeah, well, we'd never have guessed. You always seemed like you had _no_ idea what you were on about," he said, and Dave looked mock-offended.

"No way, man, I put in some hard work for that! I was well-educated in making your life a hell," he protested, and then seemed to realise what he'd said. His face dropped the way it did when he was thinking about what he'd done to Kurt and the rest of them, and Finn felt bad for the guy.

"S'OK Dave. You weren't that bad. I coulda taken you anytime. I just didn't want Kurt nagging at me about violence not being the answer," he bragged, and thankfully, Dave smiled.

"Yeah, right, Hudson. We both know I would wipe the floor with your ass before you could swing," he teased, and Finn had to concede to that. Dave could kick his ass and he did know it.

"Anyway, I better get going. Thanks for the help. Same time next week?" Finn asked, handing the cash over, and Dave nodded. Finn noticed that he didn't have that uncomfortable looking grimace on his face whenever Finn thanked him for something. Interesting.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"Finn Hudson. We need to talk," Kurt said, pulling Finn out of his chair in the choir room and dragging him out into the hall. The others watched them go, looking mildly interested.

"Jeez, Kurt. What?" Finn exclaimed, rubbing his arm. Kurt had a freakishly strong grip for such a little guy.

"Are you or are you not being tutored by one David Karofsky?" Kurt demanded, his voice high and fast.

"Kurt, you _need_ to stop hanging with Rachel so much. I swear, sometimes, it's like talking to Rachel with a dick," Finn said. Kurt looked at him mildly offended and expectant.

"Oh. And better fashion sense," Finn added quickly. Kurt looked mollified.

"Well?" he cried, throwing his arms up.

"Oh. Yeah. What's the big deal?" Finn asked, shifting uncomfortably. Though he was surprised it had taken Kurt this long to confront him, it was still pretty embarrassing.

"What is the big deal?" Kurt said disbelievingly.

"Finn, the big _deal_ is that the school already has illusions about you two! Now, look, I haven't said anything because I was glad you'd made a friend, and to be honest, David needed one too, but this is going too far. A _month_, Finn? This had been going on a month and you don't _tell_ me?" Kurt cried, looking genuinely offended now.

"Kurt, calm down. I know what people are saying, and I don't care. It's _not true! _Dave really is just helping me pass Math," Finn explained, trying to stay calm.

"Oh, and since when do you care about Math anyway, Finn?" Kurt asked cattily, and Finn had to remind himself that when Kurt got like this, he didn't mean to be a bitch, but he was anyway. It was like chicks on their periods; you had to make allowances. Still, his temper was rising, and he could feel the anger boil over.

"Since I need it to go to fucking engineering school, OK, Kurt?" he yelled suddenly, and Kurt stepped back, his mouth open.

"Engineering? Finn, you're going to New York with Rachel and me," Kurt said faintly, his hand over his heart. Finn brushed away the annoyance at the drama.

"Oh, really, Kurt, and how is that going to work with her so pissed at me she hasn't talk to me ALL YEAR?" Finn asked, really angry now. How dare they go ahead and plan his life for him? He wasn't their little lap dog, content to follow them wherever they went.

"Look, I'm working on it! Trust me; she'll be fine by the end of the year! Finn, they do NOT do engineering at NYADA. You cannot do this," Kurt pleaded, looking incredibly worried. Finn resisted the urge to yell again, and since he'd blurted out the big secret anyway, he figured he might as well try and explain it rationally.

"Kurt. I am never going to get into NYADA. And I don't want to, OK? I've been thinking, for a while now, and I've decided I'm going to do the engineering course at Lima Community College, and take over Burt's garage," he explained, trying to sound as firm as he could. There was no room for doubt when talking to Kurt.

Kurt looked faint.

"Finn. You could do so much with your life. Are you really going to just throw it all away?" he asked, looking sincere. It was this that threw Finn over the edge.

"Christ, Kurt, not everyone has to leave and be big fucking stars to be someone, OK? There is _nothing_ wrong with staying here, alright? We're not all like you and fucking Rachel!" he shouted, and Mr. Schue came rushing out the choir room. Kurt was looking both furious and like he was about to cry.

"Finn! Language! Look, let's come inside and we'll discuss whatever is upsetting you, calmly," he said, in what Finn supposed he thought was a soothing voice, but it irritated him to no end. He stormed off down the hall angrily, leaving both Kurt and Mr. Schue calling after him.

He was so overwhelmed with anger that he had no idea where he was going or what he was doing. Before he knew it, he found himself texting Dave.

**Kurt knows. It was an accident. Where are you?  
- F **

The answer came almost instantly, like it did normally now. They weren't best friends or anything, but Dave always responded to a text, and for the last month, they'd texted a fair bit. Enough for Finn to count Dave as a friend. He was still an ass, and still blunt about everything, but Finn found he sort of liked that. There was no mystery to Dave; he said what he thought, did what he wanted, and didn't need puzzling out.

**Parking lot. Micky D's run?  
- D**

Finn calmed down slightly as he made his way to the parking lot and hoisted himself into the passenger seat of Dave's truck.

"Pretty stupid move there, Hudson. What were you thinking?" Dave asked as they pulled out onto the road.

"God, he was just making me so angry. You know he was planning for me to move to New York with him and Rachel next year? Like I had no say in the matter?" Finn ranted angrily, his temper boiling again.

"What? Berry isn't even talking to you," Dave said, sounding confused. Finn was so overwhelmingly happy that Dave just _got it_ within a second of him saying it that he was quite literally speechless for a moment.

"So the plan's out of the question now. Kurt's gonna go and tell everyone. So much for waiting for graduation," Finn said dejectedly. Dave parked under the giant M, and instead of getting out, sat there for a moment.

"OK. So everyone knows now. So what? Isn't gonna change what you want, is it?" he asked, looking over at Finn intensely, and Finn felt just a little uncomfortable under his gaze. By now, his stomach was a well-trained acrobat, and though it hadn't felt quite the same way since that day Dave had growled at him, Finn was getting used to feeling like this around Dave. He still didn't know what it was though. He scoffed to himself, and figured he could just add it to the list of every other thing he didn't know.

"No. It's not. I'm staying here. They can't change that," he said forcefully, and Dave smiled.

"Good," he said simply, and opened the door, stepping out into the cold.

After ordering what was practically a feast fit for kings, they sat down at a secluded table, away from the prying eyes of, oh, everyone in Lima, who were by now currently speculating that Finn and Dave were madly in love.

"God, why can't everyone just be like you? You get it, man. I swear, its easier being around you than it ever was with Rachel," Finn commented, through a mouthful of fries, but it didn't matter because Dave was a dude too, and he was doing the same thing.

"You know that makes you sound like a pussy, right, Hudson?" Dave replied easily, but he had tensed up.

"No, I'm serious. Sometimes I think it'd be easier if I just ditched chicks altogether. I mean, think about it, all they've ever given me is grief, right? Quinn? She cheated on me with Puck, lied about her getting knocked up, and broke my heart. And Rachel? So demanding _all the time._ And now she's turned everyone I know against me!" Finn exclaimed, pleased with his sudden analysis. Dave said nothing.

Finn sat in silence for a moment, watching Dave. Out of nowhere, a thought crossed his mind. His stomach flipped happily at the mere thought of it, and suddenly, he remembered exactly where he knew the feeling from. It was a very intense version of what he'd used to feel for Rachel. He hadn't recognised it because it was so unexpected, and so incredibly stronger. But …he wasn't gay …

"Hey, Dave. You think… you think I could learn to be gay?" he asked hesitantly, before he could chicken out. Dave dropped his burger, and his eyes narrowed.

"Fuck you, Hudson," he hissed, and stormed out angrily. Finn was stunned. Gathering his senses quickly, he raced after Dave, and caught up with him as he was about to drive off.

"The fuck, bro?" he yelled, pulling open the door and grabbing the keys swiftly so Dave couldn't leave.

"Give me the fucking keys, Hudson," Dave said quietly, and Finn didn't think he had ever seen him so angry.

"Dude! What the fuck is wrong with you?" Finn cried, genuinely confused and really pissed off.

"Wrong with me? You kidding me? Where the _fuck_ do you get off asking stupid fucking questions like that? What, you figure it's time for revenge? Been biding your time, pretending to be my _friend_ until you get your chance to make _my_ life a living hell?" Dave exploded, his face growing increasingly redder with each word.

Finn was frozen in his tracks. Is that what Dave really thought? He thought Finn was making _fun_ of him?

"What are you talking about, man? I swear, that's not even close to the truth. I just. I really wondered. It just seemed easier… You're just a hell of a lot nicer than every girlfriend I've ever had …" Finn trailed off, guilty and ashamed. Stupid. He was so stupid.

"No, Hudson. You can't fucking _learn_ to be gay. So drop it," Dave answered, looking a little less angry, but incredibly mortified. He held out his hands for the keys, but Finn wasn't satisfied.

"No. I won't. I don't believe you," he said stubbornly, not entirely sure where he was going with this. Even if he'd finally worked out his own fucked up mind didn't mean Dave felt the same way. Maybe the cold was fucking with his mind. Dave growled angrily, and this time Finn's stomach lurched so obviously that he thought he actually stumbled a little.

Dave took this opportunity and lunged at him, trying desperately to get to the keys. He knocked Finn to the ground, and almost knocked the breath out of him with the sheer weight atop him. Finn didn't know what he was doing; he was sure his brain didn't command it, but somehow, his face lifted up to Dave's and he kissed him quickly and firmly. Maybe it _was_ the cold; Dave's warm body on top of his was comforting, and what better way to test the theory?

Dave's lips were warm against his, and for a second, he was so shocked that he simply tensed up on top of Finn and didn't move an inch. But after a moment he relaxed, and for just a second, kissed back, returning the pressure eagerly. God, this felt _good._ Finn moaned, low, in his throat, and the sound startled them both back into reality. Dave pulled away quickly, and Finn saw that his eyes were wide, and terrified. He shoved Finn back, hard against the concrete and snatched the keys off the ground where they were lying, forgotten. Jumping into the truck, he sped away as quickly as he could; leaving Finn on the ground, alone, in the cold, before he could even call out for Dave to wait, please wait.

He looked around, dazed. Thankfully, there was no one around, and he prayed no one had seen. It wasn't that he was ashamed; to be honest, he didn't really know what he was feeling at the moment. Getting to his feet, almost automatically, he started to walk in the vague direction of home. He was thankful to his body for knowing where to go, because his mind was so numb he was sure it couldn't have found the way home.

Had he really just done that? Had he _kissed_ Dave? Dave Karofsky? God, he was so _stupid. _This was just like him; he figured something about (behind everybody else in the entire world, it seemed, as usual) and just had to act upon it the second he realised, without waiting and thinking about the _consequences. _

He stumbled through the front door numbly, only to be greeted by an anxious Kurt. This was vaguely familiar, and then Finn remembered the last time Kurt had greeted him this way; another incident to do with Dave. He winced a little internally at the thought of Dave. Stupid. He was an idiot. He'd never live this down.

"Finn! Where have you been? You just stormed out!" Kurt cried, looking more angry than concerned this time.

"I, uh, I…" Finn stuttered, unable to say anything else. Kurt sighed exasperatedly as Finn sunk down onto the couch, and left droplets of water everywhere. Apparently it had been raining. He hadn't noticed.

"Finn, we have to talk about what you said this afternoon," Kurt said, sounding like he was trying to be rational.

Finn searched his mind for what Kurt was talking about, and remembered what they'd fought about. Wow. That seemed like days ago now. It was so trivial.

"Kurt. I can't deal with this right now," he said bluntly, and pushed past Kurt to his room, cursing for the millionth time the fact that they shared a room. Not surprisingly, Kurt followed angrily.

"Finn! We _have_ to talk!" he exclaimed, flouncing down the stairs and sitting across from where Finn had lay down on the bed.

Finn closed his eyes, and tried not to remember the stupidity of what he'd just done. Tried not to remember just how good it felt. Tried not to remember Dave's wide eyes and the way he'd pushed him away angrily. Kurt took his silence as an invitation to start talking again.

"Finn. Look, I understand. You're insecure about yourself. But I assure you, you can get into NYADA, and you can be great! You just need to believe in yourself," Kurt said earnestly, and though his eyes were closed, Finn could practically see the sincerity and excitement oozing from him.

He took a breath, and replied in a flat voice.

"Leave it, Kurt. It's not happening. I'm staying here. You can't change that." He must have sounded incredibly final, because Kurt left him alone. He recalled the scene in the parking lot in his mind again, and for the first time, in months, felt utterly hopeless.


	2. Chapter 2

Finn Hudson had kissed him; Dave Karofsky. It was incomprehensible. And what was worse was… he'd kissed _back_. Why? Why had he done that? Was he really so incredible stupid? Well, yes, he was, he'd always known that.

What the hell had Finn been _thinking?_ He wasn't gay; he'd had enough girlfriends to prove that. He was probably just miserable as hell and Dave had been stupid enough to take pity on him and the stupid dick just got a bit too weirdly attached to him and oh who was he kidding? He wasn't pissed at Finn; he was pissed at himself. It wasn't Finn's fault he was having delusions. Dave had been enough of a dick to actually kiss back and lead the guy on.

It had just felt so … amazing. He'd only ever kissed Kurt before, and that hardly counted because he was being a fucking douche when he did it, and Kurt had been too terrified to do anything. Jeez, was _that _what kissing was like, because, god, he understood why the rest of the world harped on about it now.

Not that that excused him. No, if anything, it made it worse. He was weak, just like he'd always suspected. He should have just shoved Finn away from the start and explained that of course Finn wasn't fucking gay and of course he couldn't fucking kiss him. But then he'd never been that great at rational. And he'd been so fucking _angry. _

To be honest, he wasn't sure whether he was more furious or relieved that Finn wasn't just playing a game with him all this time. While this was pretty much the worst thing that could have happened, he thought he preferred it over Finn taking his revenge and fucking with his mind.

He tried to shake the image of Finn sitting there on the concrete, looking shocked as he drove away. He shouldn't have done that. Or, actually, that was exactly what he should have done in the first place, and then none of this would have fucking happened. He could have just explained to Finn to drop it and they'd never talk about it again and could go on being sort of friends like they had before.

Pulling into his garage, he slammed the door behind him and pushed his way past his mother, who looked extremely concerned when she saw the look in his face. He barricaded himself in his room, as he had done countless times before, and thankfully, his mother had enough sense not to come after him.

He lay on his bed for a while, feeling both exhausted and wired, somehow, and most of all, ashamed. He wallowed in self-pity for what could have been a few hours in his mind, but in reality was probably only half an hour, before he decided, well, he was going to have to do something about it.

And that something was nothing. He would do nothing about it, and hope it went away. He would ignore Finn as much as he could. He wouldn't talk to him, he would avoid him at school, and he'd make it damn clear that there was to be nothing between them from then on. He felt guilty as he thought about the consequence this would have on Finn, but it was necessary.

It wasn't so much that he was angry with Finn, because he was sure he would get over it soon, but he couldn't trust himself anymore, and definitely couldn't be around Finn anymore. Not feeling any better about this decision, he drifted into an uneasy sleep.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"Dave! Dave, we need to talk!" Finn said urgently, and pushed past the students in the hall who were blocking the path to Dave. He'd made up his mind; Dave _was_ going to talk to him about this.

Dave sped up, and almost sprinted away from him. Finn felt a burst of anger swell, and he chased after him.

"Karofsky! Get back here!" he yelled, and Dave must have been shocked to hear his surname leave Finn's mouth after having gotten used to hearing 'Dave', he stopped, and turned reluctantly.

"Get the fuck away from me, Hudson," he hissed, looking murderous. It didn't faze Finn. He'd had a week to reflect on what he'd done, and he decided, it was high time he went and apologised.

"Dave, I just wanna talk. That's all," Finn pleaded, and he wasn't sure whether it was genuine pity or just annoyance that made Dave relent, but he stormed into an empty classroom on his right, and Finn followed.

"Well? Talk," Dave said harshly, and Finn was suddenly flustered. He'd practised this in his mind all night, but he was Finn Hudson, and it was probably going to come out wrong anyway.

"Look, Dave, about … the other week. I just wanna say sorry. I shouldn't have done it," he managed to stutter out, and he watched Dave's face soften just a tiny bit.

"No, you fucking shouldn't have," he barked, and for a moment Finn thought he was going to accept the apology, but his face hardened again, and he walked to the door angrily.

"You've got no idea what you're fucking with, Hudson. Stay the fuck away from me," he spat, before leaving. Finn's heart dropped. He honestly thought that might have gone better than it did. He should have known. He'd fucked things up way beyond repair, yet again. When he was he just going to learn?

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"Hi Finn," said a small voice from behind him. It'd been so long since he'd heard it since say his name he thought he'd imagined it. But then he turned around, and there was Rachel standing behind him, looking rather sheepish.

"Rachel?" he said in disbelief, not quite sure exactly whether this was really happening.

"Um, Kurt told me I should talk to you. And to be honest, I would like to apologise for the frankly horrendous way I've been treating you. I only hope that you can forgive me one day," she said quickly, and Finn had almost forgotten the ridiculous way she talked. He opened his mouth to tell her of course he forgave her, but it didn't come. _Did_ he really forgive her? It had been almost six months since she'd even looked his way, and all of a sudden she comes crawling back?

Of course, he didn't say any of that to her either. In fact, he was struggling to say _anything_. She was looking at him kind of funny, and he realised he must have just been staring at her for a moment.

"Uh. Thanks," he managed, and she beamed like he'd forgiven her completely. In her mind, he probably had. She walked him to the choir room happily, chatting to him like nothing had ever happened between them. When they reached Glee, the room fell silent. Rachel stared at them all meaningfully, like she thought Finn wouldn't notice, and they all smiled, rather forcedly, and fell into an uneasy chatter.

"Hey, Finn," a few of them said, looking rather guilty and shifty. He still felt a little angry that they were suddenly all OK to talk to him again, once Rachel had given them the go ahead, but he was more amazed and shocked to do anything about it.

Kurt looked over at him proudly, like he had achieved some fabulous feat, and Finn supposed that he had. It wasn't easy to get Rachel to drop a grudge. He wondered what he'd done.

He didn't have to wait long to find out. After the bell rang, Kurt pulled him aside as the others streamed out.

"Well? Aren't you pleased?" he said expectantly, observing Finn's unhappy face. Finn forced out a smile, but it must not have looked very convincing, because Kurt's face dropped.

"What's wrong, Finn? Don't you want to get back together with her?" he asked, looking genuinely upset. Finn answered before he could think about it.

"No!" he said emphatically, and an image of Dave appeared before him before he could stop it. That feeling in his stomach returned and the mere thought of choosing Rachel over Dave (despite Dave never being an option he had ever really thought about) was as absurd as some of the outfits Kurt sometimes wore.

"You don't? Why? I thought you loved her. Isn't that why you've been so miserable lately?" Kurt asked, confused.

"Kurt, don't you remember _me_ being the one to break up with her? I stopped loving her a long time ago," Finn explained, a little annoyed that Kurt automatically assumed Rachel had been the one making him miserable. She wasn't the only thing he'd lost; all his friends, his sense of worth, his love for Glee. Of course, he _had_ gained Dave, but then he'd gone and lost him again.

"Look, Kurt, I appreciate you trying to fix things between us, but I don't love Rachel anymore. I'll be her friend, but that's all," Finn said firmly, and Kurt looked more disappointed than ever. Finn left him looking like a kid whose dreams had been crushed as he left the room, aware that Mr. Schue seen the entire encounter.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

Over the next few weeks, life gradually returned to normal. Rachel clung to him like the needy girlfriend she always had been, and seemed to be under the impression that if she just gave him time (and a _lot_ of heartsick ballads) that he would fall back in love with her. Unlikely.

The rest of his friends slowly worked their way back to being his friends, and while he still felt the anger within him sometimes, he decided that he ought to be grateful that he had friends again. He had missed them, even if they weren't very good friends for a while there.

Even Glee itself had regained its fun. He no longer dreaded having to pick what song to sing without offending anyone, or having to sing with Rachel and feel her glare even as she sang the sappy words.

In other words, everything had righted itself, and he should have been happy, right? On the contrary. He had never felt more wretched. While he had everything he had wanted months ago, he still felt something was missing. And the worst thing about it was, he knew exactly what it was.

Dave. It had been a month since Finn had apologised to him in the empty classroom, and he hadn't spoken a single syllable to him since. Finn had tried again, countless times, but Dave always managed to brush him off or simply avoid him so effectively that Finn never got the chance.

Finn found himself thinking about Dave more and more as the days went on. He started doing badly in Math again without Dave there to explain it to him. He missed being able to text him and know there would be an instant response, even if it was just something sarcastic or juvenile. He missed playing Halo with him, watching his face as Finn kicked his ass every time, despite Dave's desperate attempts to improve.

Basically, he just missed _Dave_. He hadn't realised just how much of his life he had taken over, but now that he was gone, Finn was hopeless. And as much as it surprised him, it wasn't just the friendship he missed.

He had friends again now - he had someone to go to play video games, to text, to help him out with his homework. It was Dave himself he missed. It sounded fucking girly, but what he missed was the boy who had helped him figure out what he was going to do with his life, who he was going to be, and that it was OK not to want to be a big star.

All this missing him wasn't doing much good. With Dave not even looking at him lately, he had started to appear in Finn's dreams. At first, it was just replays of the scene in the parking lot when Finn had kissed him (_stupid) _but as the "Dave Drought" as he had coined it in his mind, went on, the dreams got more intense. Scenes of a nude Dave, lust in his eyes as he trailed kisses down Finn's navel toward his dick, and eventually, wrapping his lips around his cock and sucking so eagerly he almost came just from blowing Finn.

Finally, they became too much for him to handle, and he began to wake in a sticky mess. The first time it had happened, he had been ashamed. That hadn't happened to him in a couple of years. He woke before Kurt, thank God, and cleaned himself up before Kurt could wake and ask any questions.

Eventually, though, Kurt began to notice something.

"Finn. Are you OK, lately? You've been, uh, awfully … vocal in your sleep," Kurt asked him, blushing a little. Kurt always had been a bit of a prude. Finn panicked.

"What? Uh, I'm fine," he said quickly, and Kurt watched him like a hawk.

"Uh … what have I been … saying?" he asked nervously, sweating a little. What if Kurt had _heard_ what he'd been dreaming about? That would be not only mortifying but also incredibly problematic. Kurt seemed to still be labouring under the impression that Finn was going to hook back up with Rachel and skip off to New York with them by the end of the year.

"You sure you don't want to tell me?" Kurt asked, and his tone was just a little too knowing for Finn's liking.

"Kurt. Just … tell me, OK?" he said desperately. There was still a chance, a tiny chance, that Kurt didn't know. Maybe he just assumed Finn was crushing on some girl. Or Rachel. Even Rachel would do.

"OK. I didn't want to embarrass you. But we need to talk about this. Finn, I know sex dreams. More to the point, I know _gay_ sex dreams. And I know you've been having them. But that's not the important part. Finn. Were you dreaming about David?" Kurt asked, having the decency to ask, even though Finn knew very well that Kurt already knew.

Nevertheless, he put his head in his hands. That was answer enough.

"It's OK, Finn. I mean, I never would have guessed it until I kind of heard you moaning his name at night-" Kurt rambled, and at this, Finn groaned miserably.

"Kurt. Please. You can't tell anyone. OK? I just … you can't," Finn pleaded, and Kurt looked taken aback.

"Finn. I'd never do that. I didn't out David when I found out about him, and I certainly won't do the same to you," he said firmly, and Finn calmed down. Of course Kurt wouldn't do that. He knew that.

"Finn. Does David know?" Kurt asked tentatively, and there was something hidden in his voice as he asked. Finn sighed unhappily.

"Yeah. I, uh, kind of kissed him about a month ago," he confessed. Kurt gasped happily.

"Finn! That's amazing! Wait, why aren't you together then?" he said, suddenly confused again.

"Why do you think, Kurt? Cos he rejected me, OK? He wants nothing to do with me, and it's all my stupid fault," Finn said angrily.

"To be honest, I've only just figured out that I actually … want to be with him, OK? God, I'm not gay. Or, I don't think I am. I loved Rachel, and Quinn, I really did. I love women. I just…." Finn trailed off, surprised by how much had suddenly come rolling out of his mouth.

"Love David too?" Kurt suggested quietly, and Finn froze. Did he? Love Dave?

"No. But … I think I could … Maybe," he answered, shocked at this revelation. Kurt smiled happily, and clapped his hands.

"Finn. Do you know what this means?" he asked excitedly. Finn looked at him blankly and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"It_ means_ that you and I have some work to do. We are going to get David to face up to his feelings for you whether he likes it or not," Kurt answered, determined.

"Wait. What? Dave has feelings for me? How do you know? And why would he push me away if he did?" Finn asked quickly, recalling the sting of the concrete and rejection when Dave had shoved him away.

"Oh, Finn, David and I are still friends. He told me. I just didn't realise you felt the same way! I was trying to convince him that straight boys were a lost cause and to give up on you!" Kurt exclaimed, only to be met with an extremely hurt look from Finn.

"Oh, but I didn't realise he'd start ignoring you completely. Honestly. Typical David," Kurt said hurriedly, and for the first time in weeks, Finn felt something other than gut wrenching misery. He felt hope.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

It seemed that Kurt's powers of stubbornness were stronger than Finn had ever known. He was absolutely determined to get Dave to talk to Finn, no matter how long it took. And it was taking a long time. The hope he had felt when Kurt had first disclosed his plan was slowly being doused with every day that Dave continued to ignore him.

Finn learnt over the weeks that followed that Kurt and Dave really were still friends, and had been for months now. They weren't the sort of casual friends that he and Finn had been, but then Kurt couldn't really be that friend. He couldn't see Kurt sitting around and playing video games, tossing around a ball or trading insults.

"David's still being stubborn," Kurt informed him during Glee one afternoon.

"Yeah, what's new?" Finn asked glumly, resigning himself to the fact that Dave would probably never speak to him again. It was OK; he'd gone years without Dave ever speaking to him, except to throw an insult or something. He could do without it again. Maybe. If he was kidding himself.

"I've tried explaining to him that it's not just some phase, but he won't budge. I think he's afraid of being hurt," Kurt said quietly, aware that the other members of Glee might be listening in. Finn was still adamant that no one could ever find out about his little crush.

Kurt had taken a little while to really believe that Finn felt something for Dave, and to come to terms with the fact that at the end of the year, he really would be leaving his brother behind in Lima. Finn suspected that Kurt wanted to leave him with something to make him happy before he left, and he was convinced that that something should be Dave.

"It's OK, Kurt. You tried. It's just not gonna happen," Finn said, and tried to make himself believe it. Kurt crossed him arms huffily, and got that steely glint in his eyes Finn recognised as pure determination. Or perhaps just stubbornness.

"Finn. Don't give up. This is important. I'm not going to let David's fears and your frankly worrying level of self-esteem get in the way of this. You will be together if it's the last thing I do," he said firmly, and Finn knew better than to argue with Kurt when he was like this.

It was a good thing he didn't, too. If there was one thing you could say about Kurt, he never gave up on what he wanted. And he wanted Dave and Finn together. It was nearing the end of the year, and final exams were coming up. Finn had almost given up on doing well in all his subjects, except for Math. He figured he could scrape a pass in English and maybe Spanish, if he really tried, but he _needed_ that Math score, and by god, he was going to get it, Dave or no Dave.

He enlisted Blaine's help, who was, surprisingly, a bit of a genius at Math, and though it was nowhere near as, well, fun, as it was with Dave (and wasn't that just a screwed up sentence - Math, fun?), but Blaine seemed to understand what troubled Finn and helped him through it. Though Finn had given him a bit of a hard time at the beginning, when he joined Glee, and started dating Kurt, they had become sort of friends over the past year, and Finn was sure that if Blaine wanted to marry his brother one day, he'd be a happy man about it.

But as the exams drew closer and the year came to a close, Finn was starting to wonder if Kurt was running out of time to get Dave to "see sense", as Kurt put it. He tried to put all his thoughts of Dave out of his mind as he entered his Math exam (not an easy feat; Dave was all he seemed to think about lately) and focus on the numbers in front of him.

Some of them made perfect sense, surprisingly, and he ended up having to think about Dave for some of the questions. But for once, instead of being miserable about it, and worrying that he'd never get to hear Dave's voice again, (except in his most private dreams where all he heard was Dave) it was actually beneficial. He answered questions with confidence he never thought he'd have, and when he left the exam room, he actually felt good about it.

"So? How'd it go?" Blaine asked him when he'd stepped out of the room to meet him and Kurt. Finn smiled.

"Good. Actually, really good. I think I'm going to pass," Finn said confidently, and Blaine grinned.

"You'll do better than pass, man. You're gonna ace it," he said happily, and they turned to leave. Kurt was smiling to himself oddly, and Finn was a little disconcerted. Nothing good ever came of that sneaky smile. Now that he noticed, Blaine was grinning too, and he suspected it wasn't his promising prospects in Math that was making them so happy.

"Hudson," called a gruff voice from behind him, and his heart nearly leapt out of his chest. He spun around, and he could hear Kurt and Blaine giggling to themselves. Dave was standing awkwardly in front of him, looking beyond nervous, and embarrassed. Finn guessed that Kurt and Blaine's presence wasn't helping.

"Can we, uh, talk?" Dave said, and Finn simply nodded dumbly. He followed Dave out to the parking lot without a second look back at the excited boys behind him.

"So … it's been a while," Dave said, looking down at his feet. It was freezing, and both their faces were red from the cold, but neither one made an attempt to retreat to the warmth of their cars. Finn nodded again, wondering why his tongue suddenly wouldn't move.

"Um. Kurt's been bugging me for a while. About you. At first, I kind of didn't believe him," Dave went on when it became clear Finn was going to stay silent.

"But he kept trying. He told me, you, uh, thought about me a lot. That true?" Dave asked, looking embarrassed again. Finn's face burned red, the cold having nothing to do with it this time. Dammit, Kurt.

"Um. Yeah. I guess," Finn mumbled, his voice finally deciding to show up and come to work.

"Right. Well. Um. Jesus, this is hard. I guess… I kind of have been too. Thinking. About you," Dave choked out, and Finn was glad he wasn't the only one having a hard time with this.

"Really?" he asked, lifting his head to look at Dave. The boy was red, and he nodded sheepishly.

"I tried to talk you to you, Dave. You didn't want anything to do with me," Finn said, wondering why he was bringing it up. To be honest, he was just glad Dave was talking to him now. He couldn't care less about what he'd done in the past. Still, apparently, his brain thought it was important, because it came rushing out of his mouth. Dave looked ashamed.

"Yeah. Uh, I was a real jerk. I guess, I kind of didn't wanna be, just an … experiment," he trailed off, his voice growing softer, and Finn could tell it was hard for him to be saying this "girly shit", as Dave would put it.

"If it makes you feel any better, you kind of were, at the start there," Finn said, and Dave's face dropped. He kicked himself internally. What the hell kind of thing was that to say? God, he was hopeless.

"But … then time went on, and I realised the experiment was pretty successful. I wanted to see if I really was … you know, feeling something for you. I was," Finn explained hurriedly, so focused on fixing the other dumbass thing he'd said that he didn't realise he was currently spewing out his emotions like a fucking girl. He'd tried so hard not to do this, but he supposed when you were dreaming about fucking another guy, you couldn't get much gayer.

Dave smiled, and Finn realised he'd said the right thing. Dave opened his mouth to say something, but Finn couldn't restrain himself. He stepped forward swiftly, and pressed his lips to Dave's, softer than when he'd tried the first time, less desperate, but no less passionate. Dave didn't hesitate. He kissed back, eagerly, and his tongue swiped across Finn's lower lip. He couldn't help it; he moaned again. Stupid body, betraying him.

But this time, Dave didn't push him away. He wrapped an arm around Finn's waist, and tangled one in his hair, tugging slightly. Finn realised somewhere in the back of his head that he must have looked like the fucking girl here if anyone was watching, but he couldn't bring himself to care, not when it felt so _good._

They pulled away after a moment, and were both panting heavily. Instead of fear, Finn could see lust in Dave's eyes, and he felt his trousers tighten at the very sight of it. Dave must have been feeling the same way, because he was looking mighty embarrassed.

"So," Dave said, grinning, and Finn felt overwhelmingly happy. It was something he hadn't felt all year, and he had almost forgotten the feeling.

"So. Does this mean you'll stop avoiding me now?" Finn asked, smiling.

"Oh, yeah," Dave answered, and Finn could see a glint in his eye that reminded him oddly of Kurt. Kurt when he knew he'd gotten his own way.

They were interrupted by noisy clapping above them. They looked up, startled, and saw Kurt and Blaine leaning over the railing of a walkway, looking down at them happily. Finn blushed, and looked over at Dave.

"Don't look at me. I didn't send them up there," Dave said, holding his hands up in defence, and Finn stared at him.

"OK, so maybe they helped out with the plan a little bit," he conceded, and Finn smiled.

"I'm glad," he said, and in that moment, it didn't matter how cheesy it sounded. Dave was smiling at him, and he was pretty sure that no matter whether or not he'd miss Kurt, and Rachel, and everyone else who left at the end of the year, he'd be OK.

"Come on. I promised Kurt I'd come over this afternoon. I guess he wants to be the one to break the news. Gotta hand it to him; he is the biggest glory hog I've ever met," Dave said, getting into the truck, and Finn followed, laughing.

Yeah. It'd be fine.


End file.
